I have a feeling that all the beautiful, smiling, motivational talk about staying strong, that everything will be fine, and not complaining is not really how it looks. Sometimes there is simply too much motivation. The more I think about it, the more I believe that too much motivation and too much positive thinking can lead  into blind alleys, sometimes even into something very dark.

For several years I wrote about how important it is to see the colors of the world. I also wrote about how necessary it is to keep working on myself. Somehow I forgot about the other side, the one people talk about less. It is not so attractive. It is not so popular. It does not collect that many likes.

Not everything can be replaced. Very often the pain of losing something is proof that it was deep, honest, and rare. It is very possible that the same meeting, experience, or opportunity will never happen again.

Many of us leave quietly without explaining anything. Especially when we reach a point where we truly cannot continue. I do not stop feeling. I refuse to be part of someone’s life only when it suits them. This is not only about romantic relationships.

I feel that love and experiences are not about being ready. They are about whether I decide to give them a chance. It is about choosing to accept something. Maybe better opportunities will come and maybe they will not. Who knows. For me life is a big mystery. Maybe it is even a coincidence that will only make sense at the very end.

It is not easy to walk through the world when something breaks. Without you, him, her, them. In those moments motivation does not help, no matter how strong it is. The only thing that pushes me forward is habit. The habit of telling myself not to stop. To take one more step, or at least I will try.

Life is not always beautiful and polished with perfect make up.

The mountains teach me that even in difficult conditions beautiful stories can grow. After every long winter spring comes and almost everything blooms again.

What frustrates me the most is that I often fail to notice what I should notice. I realize it too late. Maybe I hurt myself for no reason. Maybe I hurt someone else too. I am sorry that some things or moments cannot be brought back.

People betray me. I betray myself. Things happen. Coincidences happen too. I do not notice every opportunity. Sometimes I refuse them too quickly. This is something we learn to live with for our whole lives. I can stay angry. I can become bitter. I can forgive. Or I can leave it as it is and move forward.

If I do not give up on life, new life will come to me. New people. New experiences. New opportunities. New possibilities. Not everything has to be hard. Not everything has to be about trying more and more.

Some pain has to be endured. I do not need to take a pill at the first headache. I do not need to open the fridge at eight in the evening just because I feel hungry. The real question is when the pain becomes too much.

Too much motivation can be harmful. Because of it I stop noticing warning signs. Because of it I stay in places where I should not be anymore. Very often it costs me more than I realize.

Motivation is not bad. Seeing the colors of the world is not bad either. They can move me forward. But when awareness and intuition absent, motivation can cause more harm than good.